Is it better to have to make a choice or have no choice at all?

Hi I’m back! Not that I have any readers lol. I’ve been quite the busy bee lately…moved to a new city in the States and will be starting a new job next week. But of course, the story is a bit more complicated than that. Up until two weeks ago, I had accepted another job offer and was all set to move to a different country. I was quite excited about this particular job. I really like my future boss a lot and the job description is basically a dream come true. And it’s in L—-N!! One thing about this job though – I was deeply unhappy about the salary. I had managed to negotiate the offer higher, but it was still significantly below what I’d like. But for my dream job in my dream city, I thought…what the hell, I’ll try to survive on this salary. Minus compensation, it really felt like my dream was being handed to me on a silver platter.

But life is funny in some ways. Last minute, I received another job offer. And with this one, I’ll fully admit it’s not quite my dream job at all. It’s the wrong industry in a city I never even considered. On top of that, it’ll be all finance and business analytics work. Not that I hate finance or BA, but I really wanted to do something else. Still, the company is internationally reputable and the salary offer is probably more than I deserve. And (un)ashamedly, I even managed to negotiate a higher salary and bonus. (But in all honesty, us women need not be unafraid to negotiate our salaries. We deserve it)

I didn’t know what to do. I know people say I’m lucky to even have a choice but let me tell you, it’s really fucking hard to make a decision. You try it. Sometimes, there is just no right or wrong. I went through almost the same thing two years ago when I was choosing business school in different cities. I was deciding between x and y and I ultimately chose y. Was it the “right” choice? I’m still not sure. But I made a choice and here I am. Of course I always think about the what-ifs in life, especially when I’m having a tough time in this timeline. My friends and family always tell me to shut up but I think it’s just human nature to ponder. So I’m quite unapologetic about my thinking. It is what it is.

Anyway, since no one reads this blog and it’s anonymous, I will admit it here. I totally picked money over passion. And I think I may regret this choice for the rest of my life. But what is done is done. I’ll just have to live with it.

 

 

 

 

 

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